The adolescence is a very critical stage in the emotional development of a person and is the educational stage more doubts and causes psychological strain in parents. It can start from 9 to 13 years and it goes on for 8 or 10 years, usually going through 4 stages. Suddenly the child who had always been communicative becomes a rebellious, reserved, independent and even conflictive ... characteristics that make coexistence with the adolescent very difficult. The day to day with a teenage son can be very hard. To face it with a certain serenity and without blaming us or the teenage son. We must always be clear that they are natural changes that are part of the natural process of development and that are not anyone's fault. In front of the adolescent parents have a great advantage that gives them maturity: The perspective. We know that it is a stage that will pass. Below you will find a list of the typical motivations of the adolescent, the stages of adolescence in which they predominate and guidelines and indications to understand and address the most sensitive aspects.

Affirmation of individuality. It is the first sign of adolescence and manifests itself with the negative and rebellious attitude typical of early adolescence, an attitude that is often very different from the behavior of the child to whom the parents were accustomed. Parents should be tolerant of the manifestations of diversity expressed by their child. But beware, tolerating does not mean giving in to everything the teenager asks for. Sometimes it will seem that the relationship has broken. Rarely the adolescent will do anything to normalize it, it will be the parents who must retune the relationship applying discipline when necessary and demonstrating to the adolescent that despite the changes and discussions they still love him.

Demand for social independence and freedom to experiment. Typical attitude of the intermediate adolescence (from 13 to 16 years old approximately) the parents must support the desire of the son of more independence transferring also more responsibility on him. The ways to do it are endless and will vary from one teenager to another, some ways to transfer responsibility can be: the self-management of your savings, the payment of your mobile bill, a summer job or weekend, specific jobs ... A teenager healthy will always try to obtain more social independence and parents should allow and promote it within reasonable limits that will put the own behavior and responsibility that the adolescent shows to acquire as he matures. Social isolation during adolescence can have very negative repercussions in the adult stage so if parents see signs that they do not appear they should make efforts to encourage it.

Questioning and opposition to limits: This character appears in the first two stages of adolescence. Sometimes it is only on the part of the adolescent to "oppose by opposing" to affirm himself and the conflict will be limited to having to fight more to get the adolescent to fulfill his obligations. In other cases, parents will need to continue to set limits but at all times maintain communication about the difference in interests between them and the adolescent child. In this stage, parents should moderate their reactions so as not to be too severe or too soft: being friends with the adolescent is not the priority at this stage but neither should they be imposed at any price. This means that conflicts with the adolescents should not be avoided but that there should be limits in the confrontation of the conflict. A dynamic of "dead time" allows facing conflicts without emotional risk for anyone. Each party has the right to withdraw if they believe they will not be able to control emotions at any given time.

Changes in the physical image At the level of physical development, the beginning of adolescence usually coincides with the onset of puberty. The child's personality changes, but also changes his physical appearance. Be very careful with the comments about changes in your physique, it is a very dangerous stage with respect to eating disorders. The acceptance of others, including their parents, is very important for the adolescent. Teenagers often say "I do not care what you think" but in reality, they are a lot and they can be negatively marked by negative comments about their new physical appearance.

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